Lying for love: teens take extreme measures to hide relationships

Hiding, lying, ducking around corners. Senior My V.’s love life became problematic when her father caught her and her boyfriend holding hands in front of driving school last summer.

“My dad caught me with Eric one time and he was really angry,” My said.”He asked for [Eric] mom’s phone number, but he changed his cell phone number so I gave him Eric’s old number.”

Couples who hide their relationship in the shadows are forced to become stealthy ninjas, afraid of their parents figuring out their secret relationship. When going out on a date, secretive couples fabricate stories, telling one lie after another to cover up the previous lie. Friends are dragged down in the process, convinced to deceive their friend’s parents. While other couples are constantly shoving one another into a closet or under a bed the moment their parents walk into the room, or worse, shoving them out the window.

After four years and a sudden relocation, junior Trinh T. and her boyfriend are still going strong. Her boyfriend visits her every now and then, despite the fact that he lives in Dallas. As a result, having a long distance relationship makes keeping a relationship under the radar a more difficult mission. Despite possible furious reactions and consequences, taking a risk is only part of the mission.When Trinh hangs out with her boyfriend, her siblings help deceive her parents about her whereabouts.

“It’s actually really hard because I’m not allowed to go out a lot and they [my parents] don’t approve of me hanging out with guys, so I’m constantly lying,” she said.

However, having a long distance relationship isn’t the only setback to keeping relationships secretive. Even if one’s significant other lives in the same area, the possibility of being caught is still at risk. Visiting each other’s houses is like going into enemy territory. There needs to be a plan in order to keep from getting caught, or in some cases, getting caught again.

“My dad put cameras up around the house to see if Eric comes over,” My said. “My big brother helped me though; he moved the cameras a little so that it shows the blind spots instead.” 

Other students find masking their relationship relatively easy, even effortless.

“It’s actually pretty easy to keep my relationship from my parents,” sophomore Andrew N.  said.

It’s easy for Andrew because he keeps his relationship within school boundaries. Andrew and his girlfriend do not hang out after school or on weekends, therefore the percentage of getting caught is low. There is no reason to conceal and lie when one walks the same hallway without a parent spying from behind a corner.

However, for some couples, a common ground is found when parents agree to allow dating, but simply not during their high school years. For My, at least, there is a light at the end of the tunnel…graduation.

“Three years ago my dad said I can’t hang out with Eric until after graduation,” My said. “So it’s not that bad, it’s my senior year.”